Time-Saving Tip: Insider Info from Vendors

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No matter who does it, selecting vendors for the various aspects of a wedding is a huge job. Whether the bride and groom make the decisions or it’s a joint effort including you, Mother of the Bride, hours and hours of work can go into narrowing down the best choices.

Try this time-saving tip, MOB: Once you get one or two vendors secured, ask them for their recommendations in other areas. For example, if you’re sure you’ve found the perfect florist, ask which caterer he would recommend or vice versa. The vendors in any given region work the same weddings at some point or another and become very familiar with each other’s work. They know who excels—and more importantly, who doesn’t. Ask them to give you their best recommendation.

Asking vendors for insider info can come in especially handy if you’re planning an out-of-town wedding. When you’re unfamiliar with the vendors you need to book, you feel like you’re starting from scratch, and asking reliable vendors for their advice can save you tons of time. Both of our daughters had out-of-town weddings, and I wish I had learned this tip early-on.

One word of caution, though, MOB. Make sure the vendor you ask is not getting any kind of kick-back from the recommendations he makes. How do you do this? Come right out and ask—but instead of using the term kick-back, ask “Do you receive any commission from services you recommend?” You employ tact, MOB, but you also get the info you need, right?!

*You might also like to read “Time Management: Give Yourself a Break, MOB”.

*Flickr photo by abnormalbeauty, Creative Commons License

Time Management: Give Yourself a Break, MOB

2837855969_63e4c584f9_zEvery woman is busy, but the word busy takes on a whole new meaning for mothers of the bride. Believe it or not, the world doesn’t get the memo that an engagement has taken place and a wedding must be planned. Everyday life and the demands that go with it just keep on coming.

So, Mother of the Bride, how can you manage an already full life and schedule plus help your daughter plan the wedding of her dreams? My best advice is to learn right away—preferably yesterday—how to say no and help.

When others ask you to take on extra tasks during the wedding planning months, don’t think twice—say no. That’s right—politely decline with absolutely no guilt. This is one easy way to help safeguard your sanity during the beyond-busy months ahead.

Another way to say no is to look at your calendar and give yourself a break by postponing or canceling some of your regular activities. Let someone else organize the school book fair this time. Scale back on your holiday baking or skip sending Christmas cards this year. Take a break from teaching your Sunday school class for awhile. You can always get back to your regular activities after your daughter’s big day has come and gone.

Saying help will also free up more of your time to concentrate on these once-in-a-lifetime months with your daughter. How can your friends and family help ease the load you’re carrying? What everyday tasks might they be able to help with—either on a one-time or a repeat basis for a few months? Do you have friends, sisters, or other daughters who can lend a helping hand with some of the wedding tasks?

Mother of the Bride, do yourself a favor, give yourself a break, and allow the simple words no and help to make the all the difference in managing your time—and your sanity—over the next few months. Who knows, you might decide to use those words long after the wedding, too! :)

*Which wedding tasks feel especially overwhelming to you? Who might be willing to help?

*Flickr photo by Andreanna Moya Photography

*It’s not too late to receive the new issue of Life Notes, my quarterly inspirational newsletter. It’s a special Advent issue this time. Sign-up is free and to the right!

Developing an Eye

I’m doing it! I’m developing an eye for taking better photos!

How can I tell? Certain hallmark signs are there. Lately, I’m spotting good light or noticing great vantage points. I’m focusing on color but noticing backgrounds and striving for centered shots. I’m giving attention to detail. (Notice the morning light and winter trees behind the icicles in the shot I took above? I didn’t even realize how cool that would look until after I took the picture. I was concentratig mainly on the icicles.)

Developing an eye doesn’t happen by accident—in photography or other endeavors. I’ve invested time in taking lots of shots. In other words, I’ve endured the dross before the gold. And to be honest, I end up with a lot more dross than gold.

At the same time, though, I’ve benefited in several ways from taking time out for wonder while taking a host of photos. Not only am I becoming more adept at capturing better pictures, but I’ve been energized by my new pursuit and have also grown more appreciative of the beautiful world God’s given us.

The concept of developing an eye certainly carries over into other areas of our lives as well.Consider the spiritual realm. Do we notice spiritual applications to things that we see or experience in our everyday lives? (Writing blog posts has helped me develop an awareness for this.) Do we spot God at work in people or situations or can we see him in the background? Do we notice when people are hurting or in need but also pick up on their joys?

If we don’t feel like we’re actively developing a spiritual eye, we can take steps to do it. Remember, developing an eye doesn’t happen by accident.

We need to invest time—time in learning to think in spiritual ways. We do this as we read, study, and meditate on God’s Word and as we talk with him. Talking with others about spiritual truths will also spur us on in our growth. And when we notice hurts or joys of others and interrupt our lives to share in what they’re going through, we’ll continue to develop that eye for spiritual things.

So what do you say? Let’s be people who continue to develop and grow in our lives, whether it be in our walk with the Lord or the pursuit of our interests and skills. Let’s continue to develop an eye!

“Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation,” 1 Peter 2:2

*For what interest or skill are you developing an eye?

*The new issue of Life Notes, my quarterly inspirational newsletter, came out Feb. 1st. It’s not too late to receive it. Sign up is free and to the right!

At the Proper Time

“ . . . you give them their food at the proper time. You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.” Psalm 145:15b-16

Like kids begging for candy in the checkout lane, we sometimes tug on God’s coattails with the same impatience and/or insistence. “Please, please, please, God. Please grant my desire . . .”

Don’t get me wrong. I firmly believe that we are to pour our hearts out to God and freely tell him the desires of our hearts (Psalm 62:8). I also remember that Jesus told his disciples the parable of the persistent widow “to show them that they should always pray and not give up.” (Luke 18:1)

Yes, God wants to hear from his children and out of his great love for us, he will answer our prayers. But many times his answers don’t come when we want them to—or packaged quite like we’d hoped.

Like any good parent—like the perfect father he is—he waits for the proper time to give us our food, our desires. Just as we don’t give a baby solid food before his body can handle it, God waits for the perfect time to bless us with the things we need, the things we desire, the things we plead for. He will indeed satisfy our longings in one way or another, sometimes changing the longings themselves.

God’s timing is always right. I’ve depended on this truth throughout the course of my life and also throughout my writing career. I continue to cling to it as I trust God to bring about book publication at the proper time if that’s his will for me. I, along with the rest of our family, have also clung to this knowledge like a lifeline as we await God’s timing in the matter of our daughter and son-in-law’s adoption dreams.

Without a doubt, some answers are harder to wait for than others. Some require an extra measure of faith. But if we continue to trust, if we continue to wait in expectation, one day we will see God open his hand and satisfy our desires. And it will happen at the proper time.

“In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.” Psalm 5:3

*How has God encouraged you during times of waiting? If you’re currently waiting on God’s answer, you might like to read an “In the Meantime” Prayer.

*Flickr photo by aloshbennett

*Be sure to enter the “I Love Dessert” Giveaway. You don’t want to miss this one! :)

*The new issue of Life Notes, my quarterly inspirational newsletter, came out Friday. It’s not too late to receive it. Sign up is free and to the right!

Time for Wonder

We’ll miss them if we’re not careful. Wonder. Beauty. We won’t see them if we don’t take the time to look.

This summer I invited extra beauty into my life by putting a birdbath and birdfeeder in our backyard. Since my office window provides a perfect view of that portion of our yard, I’ve enjoyed moments of wonder I would never have spotted otherwise.

I took the above photo of a cardinal in November and was very pleased to capture the shot. In my experience with photographing birds so far, I’ve found that the male cardinals don’t sit still for long—at least not long enough for me to get a shot centered and focused.

I’ve also spotted a few new-to me birds, saw a huge bird land in our yard (must have been a hawk of some sort), and enjoyed watching not only birds in the birdbath but also  caught squirrels and a cat drinking there as well. I even captured a shot of squirrel trying to get in on the action at the birdfeeder and also managed to thwart a neighborhood cat’s attack on one of the unusual birds that visited our yard this summer.

But I wouldn’t have seen any of these wonders or enjoyed their beauty if I hadn’t taken the time to look.I make a point of glancing out my office window several times a day just to see what special treats God might have waiting for me right under my nose.

I’ve got to admit, though, sometimes I’m so busy I’m tempted to ignore anything going on outside of my current task. I’ve stayed at my keyboard or dashed in and out of my office, not taking the time to slow down and savor beauty, not taking the time to try to capture some great photos. I wonder what I’ve missed during those times.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to miss the beauty. I don’t want to miss God’s blessing. Join me, won’t you? Let’s take time for wonder.

“Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare.” Psalm 40:5

*What wonders have you seen lately?