7 Things I Would Tell My Younger Self

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I hate to admit it, but later this summer I’ll be celebrating a pretty big birthday. Big, that is, as in the number attached to it. I’ll let you guess which one, but suffice it to say, it could rock my emotional world if I let it. Instead, if I start taking a proactive approach now, maybe it will bring me as much joy as my last milestone birthday did. Yes, that’s a much better option, isn’t it?

With that in mind and in honor of turning older (and hopefully wiser) when August rolls around, I decided to write a list of things I’ve learned or am still learning. Maybe one of these tidbits of wisdom-gained-through-experience will benefit someone in some way. That’s my hope and prayer anyway.

So in no particular order and knowing it will definitely not be a comprehensive run-down of every lesson I’ve picked up over the course of my life, here are seven things I’d tell my younger self. Seven things I’d want to know deep down in my soul and live out in my life:

1. Know that God loves you just because you’re his. You don’t have to perform a certain way to earn his favor or stay in his good graces.

2. Be spontaneous and take more time to play—with your kids, with your husband and friends, and even by yourself. Let love and memories trump to-do lists every time.

3. Avoid extremes in almost every area of life and seek God’s wisdom at all times.

4. Grant grace to others when they fail and give yourself grace as well.

5. Nurture your marriage by dating regularly, even when time and money are in short supply. Make your marriage a priority.

6. Guard your health, time, and personal welfare by saying no to certain requests or activities. Don’t be a people pleaser or let yourself be guilted into things that aren’t good for you or your family. And then allow others to do the same.

7. Trust in God with all your heart, come what may. Trust in his perfect timing and plans.

Did you see anything here that strikes a chord with you? Something you’ve already learned or need to learn? Remember, this is not a comprehensive list and truth be told, almost all of these things are still a work in progress for me. But that’s okay. We’re all works in progress, aren’t we? Let’s be grateful for the progress we’ve made!

“being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6

*What would you tell your younger self?

*Photo by Andrea Mann Photography

Messages from the Dark

4279216_68f6e38afe*Today I’m featuring an encore post from February 2009. Hope it blesses you!

Any other perpetual calendar lovers out there? I admit to having three scattered throughout my house right now. Guess you could say I’m hooked on them. I look forward to the fresh inspiration they offer me each day — and to finding quotes I can use on the blog!

One morning last week, one of the calendar quotes really resonated with me. A couple of hours later, my scripture reading for the day held a verse that conveyed nearly the same message. I knew right away it must be a message worth sharing. Some of us may need it more than others right now, but I feel certain we can all learn from it.

My Whispered Words of Encouragement perpetual calendar contained these encouraging words from Oswald Chambers, early 20th century author and Christian minister: “When you are in the dark, listen, and God will give you a very precious message for someone else when you get into the light.”

Some of my recent days weathering the ongoing crisis with my mother-in-law’s health have been awfully close to “dark” — but could probably be described more accurately as very difficult.

Still, I identified with the message in a special way. I knew the Lord would use these difficult days to allow me to help someone in the future.

Later that morning, I read a verse from God’s Word that echoed what I’d read from Chambers. Jesus told his disciples, “‘What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs.’” (Matthew 10:27) Jesus had been telling his disciples about the persecution they would encounter as they ministered in His name, but I think we can apply the teaching to any dark time we may find ourselves in. The Lord will teach us things — will give us precious messages — that He will one day give us opportunities to share with others.

Just this morning, I jotted a few practical things down I’ve been learning over the past several weeks. As dark storm clouds roll across our lives, let’s listen for God’s messages, whether they are practical ideas or spiritual truths and comforts. Let’s ready ourselves to “proclaim from the roofs” the things God has taught us. We may proclaim them to a crowd or to just an audience of one hurting person. Wherever we proclaim them, let’s allow our messages from the dark to bring light to another.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

*What have you learned in the dark that might help someone today?

*Don’t forget to enter the Steaming Hot Valentine’s Day Giveaway. Deadline to enter is 6 p.m. Feb. 11.

*The next issue of Life Notes, my quarterly inspirational newsletter, will come out this week. Sign-up is free and to the right!

*Flickr photo by boboroshi, Creative Commons License

Guest Blogger Rachel Skatvold: The Hands of the Potter

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*Fyi, today while Rachel guest posts for me, I’m guest posting for her. Come find me on her Learning to Shine blog!

“Yet you, LORD, are our Father.
We are the clay, you are the potter;
We are all the work of your hand.” Isaiah 64:8 NIV

Using a pottery wheel takes dedication. Any skilled potter will tell you that creating a work of art requires time, patience, and a steady but gentle hand.

I remember the first time I tried my hand at throwing a pot on the wheel in high school. Centering the clay was the hardest part. If even a tiny air bubble remained hidden in the ball of clay, it wobbled all over the place. My first attempt at making something turned into useless glob of mush. However, with some practice and guidance, I learned how to form the clay into something recognizable. Eventually I sculpted a small pencil holder that still adorns my mom’s book shelf to this day.

I am a novice potter, but God is the expert. I love the illustration of the clay and the potter used in Isaiah 64:8. It shows that when God looks at me, he doesn’t just see a hunk of clay, he sees potential. Every day of my life, God teaches me something new. He molds me and shapes me into what I should be. If I keep my heart centered on him, he can form my life into something beautiful.

“He’s Still Working On Me.” The words of the old children’s hymn still ring true. Learning to trust and follow God is a daily process. It doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s worth it. I might make mistakes, but the loving hands of the Father bring me right back to the center of his heart, where I should be. I’m so thankful that he’s still working on me.

*Photo Credit: (Bill Longshaw) freedigitalphotos.net

About the Author: Rachel Skatvold Author Bio Pic

Rachel Skatvold is a Christian author and stay at home mom from the Midwest. She enjoys writing Christian romance, devotions, and encouraging blogs. Rachel’s debut novella, Beauty Within, was released in early October 2014 and she’s currently editing her first full length novel, Enduring the Flames. Other than writing, some of her hobbies include singing, reading, and camping in the great outdoors with her husband and two young sons.

Places to follow Rachel: Website   Facebook   Twitter   Pinterest

What We Can Do When Grief Is Compounded

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We’ve all been there—smack dab in the middle of a conversation or situation that compounds a heavy grief we’re bearing.

Remarks are made that drive a knife deeper into an open wound. People may offer trite words or pat answers that may, in fact, be true, but do nothing but make the pain sharper because of their lack of understanding. Some may even make comments with an edge—with an implication of how we should get over the situation or fix it or how we possibly could have prevented it to start with. The knife goes in deeper.

Other times, actions are taken—or not taken—that show a lack of sensitivity and understanding. After asking how we’re doing, someone glances at his watch repeatedly as we try to share our stories. Another knife in the heart. Sometimes our heartache is ignored—we are ignored—when people, unsure of what to say or do, carry on as if nothing is wrong. In the process, these unwitting but guilty parties compound our grief as well.

So what can we do when our grief is compounded, when the pain is made worse? How can we turn it into something positive? A few things come to mind:

  1. We can give grace. We can forgive. Chances are, the offender doesn’t even realize the pain his remarks or actions caused. Let’s give the benefit of the doubt and overlook the offense. And if the person should have known better, we can still forgive. We can remember how God has forgiven us time and again and offer the same mercy ourselves.
  1. We can learn from the situation. Any time and every time our grief is compounded, we can make a mental note to avoid such remarks or actions in our own dealings with those who are hurting. We can guard against compounding others’ grief in the future.
  1. We can educate and enlighten others. We can share the lessons we’ve learned during our season of grief as opportunities arise. Depending on the situation and the people involved, it might even be appropriate and helpful to let an offender know how his actions or words caused hurt.
  1. We can draw closer to God as we handle the hurt. We can go to God with every fresh heartache. We can tell him all about it. In his arms we’ll find comfort and understanding. We can see the hurtful situation as one more opportunity to go deeper in our relationship with God.

Grief compounded doesn’t have to win, doesn’t have to have the final say. God can help us even through this. God can redeem the pain-made-worse. Let’s allow him to do so.

“He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3 KJV

*What are some ways we can avoid compounding the grief of others?

 *Flickr photo by Thomas Leuthard, Creative Commons License

Gift Idea: The Newlywed’s Instruction Manual

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Looking for a fun little something extra to stick in with your shower or wedding gift, Mother of the Bride? You might feel like a gift of china, cookware, or flatware doesn’t have a keepsake feel to it so you’d like to personalize your gift a bit. Maybe a pretty frame or a Christmas ornament or something like today’s idea—a book!

What fresh-from-the-altar couple wouldn’t love to have a copy of The Newlywed’s Instruction Manual: Essential Information, Troubleshooting Tips, and Advice for the First Year of Marriage? I haven’t read the book myself, but reviews point out lots of helpful advice served up with a touch of humor, including amusing diagrams and pictures. The Newlywed’s Instruction Manual is another offering in the Owner’s and Instruction Manual series—two of which I’ve featured previously here on the Mother of the Bride Blog (see links below).

 Anything to help make all the adjustments in the first year of marriage a little more lighthearted has to be a win, right, MOB? Go for it!

*You might also like to read Book for the Bride: The Bride’s Instruction Manual and Building a Bridge to the Groom .

*The next issue of Life Notes, my quarterly inspirational newsletter, will come out next week. Sign-up is free and to the right!

*Photo from Amazon.com