Say No to Say Yes

September 15, 2014 by 6 Comments

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Raise your hand if you have trouble saying no when asked to do something. If your hand shot up, don’t feel bad—I’m willing to bet many others did, too.

Most of us struggle to say no for several reasons. We don’t want to disappoint others or not do our part to meet a need. We may fear that someone will think less of us—we want to fit in or be accepted. Sometimes we just flat feel obligated for one reason or another. Saying no feels like such a negative response so we say yes instead, even when it’s not a good thing for us or for our families.

But what if we began to see saying no as a positive thing? Just think about it. When we say no to a request or an offer, we’re actually saying yes to other priorities or responsibilities in our lives.

That’s right—sometimes we need to say no to say yes. When I say no to extra activities or responsibilities right now, I’m saying yes to the writing life God has led me to. Or when I say no to certain ministries or meetings at church, I’m saying yes to the areas where I’m currently serving. And when I say no to some opportunities for socializing, I’m saying yes to time with my husband or to setting aside time where we’re not constantly pushing. Sometimes we need to say no to build margins in our lives.

Let’s think for a moment about the things we’re saying yes to right now. Are these the things we truly want as priorities or obligations in our lives at this point? If something is amiss, what should we do about it?

It may be time to say no to certain things so we can say a wholehearted yes to others. True, saying no may make us feel uncomfortable temporarily, but when that happens, let’s just remember that we are in fact saying yes. Yes to the right things for us today.

“For this God is our God for ever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end.” Psalm 48:14

*What have you said no to this year in order to say yes?

*Flickr photo by cheerfulmonk, Creative Commons License

Filed Under: balance, focus, protection, time, wisdom

Midweek Morsel: A Winner Plus Lighthouse Thoughts

August 28, 2014 by Leave a Comment

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We have a “Back At It” Giveaway winner! The lucky recipient of the Barnes & Noble gift card is Kay! Congratulations, Kay! I’ll get it in the mail to you as soon as you send me your mailing address. Enjoy your new book—or whatever you choose at good ole B&N. Remember, they usually have chocolate near the check-out :)

For the rest of us, I have a food-for-thought quote about lighthouses and how we might be a lighthouse for someone in need. I read this recently in Lisa Wingate’s The Prayer Box. The character Iola is speaking. Let’s listen and see if she’s speaking to us:

“What does a lighthouse do? . . . It never moves. It cannot hike up its rocky skirt and dash into the ocean to rescue the foundering ship. It cannot calm the waters or clear the shoals. It can only cast light into darkness. It can only point the way. Yet through one lighthouse you guide many ships. Show this old lighthouse the way.”

“The light of the righteous shines brightly . . .” Proverbs 13:9a

*How can we shine light for others?

*Flickr photo by kaddisudhi, Creative Commons License

Filed Under: books, giveaway, help, leadership, light, protection, salvation

Wisdom from the Word When You’re Under Attack

August 18, 2014 by 4 Comments

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“An attacker advances against you, Ninevah. Guard the fortress, watch the road, brace yourselves, marshal your strength!” Nahum 2:1

In this imperfect world we live in, attacks on us and our loved ones will come. The attack might be physical, verbal, emotional, spiritual, or legal. We may have experienced a similar attack before or this type of assault may be completely foreign to us. We may have warning or it may hit us before we have time to blink.

One of my family members came under an unfair legal attack recently, and God used the above verse from Nahum to help me see that it’s okay to defend ourselves when we’re under attack.

Yes, God’s Word also tells of how Moses, when the Egyptians were hot on the heels of the Israelites, told the people, “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” (Exodus 14:14), but we also see from this passage in Nahum that sometimes it’s necessary to be proactive in defending ourselves. I think the key must be to seek God’s direction and listen for his leading.

So let’s look at the instructions this verse in Nahum gives for mounting a defense when we’re being attacked. Let’s think about how we might apply this plan of action to any situation we’re facing now. The points I list here are just a few applications. I’m sure you’ll think of others, too.

1) Guard the fortress. One person alone can’t guard a fortress adequately, can they? Sometimes we need to recruit help when we’re being attacked. This will look different for different situations.

2) Watch the road. We and our fellow guards need to be alert at all times and savvy to the tactics of the enemy. We need to watch for the attacker’s advance.

3) Brace yourselves. We need to prepare and strengthen ourselves for what may come so we’re not caught off guard. Again, this will look different in different situations, but it will involve educating ourselves or thinking through what’s needed to be prepared.

4) Marshal your strength. We need to gather our strength for the attack, whether that strength be physical, emotional, spiritual, or legal. For example, if the attack is spiritual, we’ll need extra time in the Word and in prayer as well prayer support from others. If it’s a legal attack, we’ll need advice and help from godly advisors, both legal and personal. We’ll need people to walk alongside us.

Isn’t God good to give us wisdom for the situations life throws at us? I pray this verse from Nahum will help any of you who may find yourselves in the midst of a present attack. And if you’re not currently under attack, why not keep this wisdom in mind for the future. It will be sure to help stabilize you when an assault comes your way.

“The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8

*What other applications or wisdom can you draw from this verse in Nahum?

*Be sure to enter the “Back At It” Giveaway. See post for details!

*The new issue of Life Notes, my quarterly inspirational newsletter, came out earlier this month. It’s not too late to receive it. Sign-up is free and to the right!

Flickr photo by PSParrot, Creative Commons License

Filed Under: action, advice, bravery, enemy, fighter, preparation, protection, strength, wisdom, Word of God

Midweek Morsel: To Those Paying for Our Freedom

July 3, 2014 by Leave a Comment

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Sometimes we take our freedom for granted here in America. Most of us have been born into the every-day freedom we enjoy, and we forget that freedom for many around the world is a luxury.

We need to always remember that our freedom has come and continues to come at a cost. Our right to freedom here in the US is, in fact, a great privilege purchased for us by all of those who have fought to defend and maintain our nation as a free nation.  Freedom is not to be taken for granted.

So to all of those past and present who have served and sacrificed so that we all might live in the land of the free—thank you! We honor each one, from our nation’s dawning days right up until today.

We are indebted not only to those who have served or are serving but also to their families who are indeed their co-servants, the ones supporting them and loving them and willing them to come home. The ones weeping when they don’t. We honor you. We don’t take you for granted. You have our gratitude and greatest respect. May God’s richest blessings be yours!

“We always thank God for all of you, mentioning you in our prayers.” 1 Thessalonians 1:2

*What are some ways we can honor those who serve?

*Flickr photo by familymwr, Creative Commons License

Filed Under: Above and Beyond, America, fighter, free, giving, pride, protection, serve, thanks

Preserving the Bridal Gown

June 30, 2014 by Leave a Comment

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To preserve or not to preserve—have you and your daughter had this discussion yet, Mother of the Bride? The answer will depend on whether or not your daughter wants to keep the gown in good condition for possible use by her future daughter or for another relative or friend. And it will also depend on which expert’s advice you listen to. I found two vastly different viewpoints.

First let’s look at what The Knot has to say. They offer some great advice in an article called Preserve Your Wedding Dress. Be sure to read the entire piece for all the details you’ll need to know, but I’ll give you a snapshot look in this post.

Here are a few of the highlights:

*Cleaning the gown is the most important part of the preservation process. All stains—even hidden ones like sugar—must be removed.

*Have the gown cleaned while the stains are fresh. It can wait until after the honeymoon if need be but don’t wait much longer.

*After cleaning the gown, a reputable specialist will wrap it in acid-free tissue paper or muslin and place it in a museum quality archival box. All storage materials should be clean and completely acid-free.

*Get referrals for a preservation specialist. Many dry cleaners claim to clean wedding gowns, but they are not specialists. If you go with a dry cleaner, they should process at least 100 gowns a year. (By the way, that number seems pretty high to me.) Try to find a professional gown preservationist with a good track record.

*Will the preservationist company guarantee their work? How will they reimburse you if you discover damage after a number of years? Will they reimburse only for the cost of the preservation or for the gown itself?

*If you open the box and handle the gown, be sure to wash your hands first or wear clean white gloves.

*Beware of those who quote a price before seeing the gown. Different gowns will require different treatment depending on the fabric and type of stains, etc.

*Expect to pay $250-$700, maybe even up to $1000 in metropolitan areas.

The authors of Bridal Bargains, Denise and Alan Fields, express a different view of gown preservation. Again, I will give only a snapshot of what they say in the book. I recommend reading the entire section on gown preservation to get a thorough look at the authors’ findings and conclusions.

The Fields reference one horror story in particular and offer a statistic from the National Association of Resale and Thrift Shops regarding preserved gowns that are brought in to be sold. They stated that 80% of the gowns are found to be dirty. They go on to call the gown-preservation-box scheme a rip-off and then recommend that brides don’t do it.

The authors suggest cleaning and preserving the gown yourself or selling it as soon as possible after the wedding. They claim that most wedding gowns can be washed and offer a few how-to tips and also recommend storing it in an acid-free box. They say it can be wrapped in a clean white cotton sheet and stuffed with acid-free tissue paper if desired.

For those who don’t want to try to clean their own gowns (that would be me!), the Fields do give some advice on using a dry cleaner. They also go on to recommend two companies for gown preservation, even though they first advised against it. Of note, when I compared my copy of Bridal Bargains, the 7th edition put out in 2005, to my friend’s copy of the latest edition (11th) put out in 2013, I noticed the information on gown preservation had only been changed slightly. It makes me wonder if the 80% statistic given is still accurate. I also felt like they could have used updated examples.

I know it’s confusing to hear two different recommendations by those who specialize in all things wedding, but I hope this helps in some way, MOB, as you and your daughter decide what to do about the gown. Remember to examine the more in-depth info found in the article from The Knot and in the book Bridal Bargains itself. Good luck!

*If you have any info or insight or personal experience to add, please share in the comments. Everyone reading is all ears, I’m sure!

*Photo by Will Flowers

Filed Under: advice, bride, cleaning, Mother of the Bride, protection
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