Wedding Planning Advice: Give Yourself the Gift of Easy

Mother of the Bride, if you’re like I was while in wedding planning mode, you’re all about saving a dollar or two (or ten!) every chance you get, right? Your mental calculator runs non-stop, causing you to continually feel the pressure of mounting expenses. You begin to look for every way you can to save a little money. But you know what? Sometimes it’s not worth it.

My first time around the MOB block, I decided we should forgo the pre-cut tulle circles we wanted to use for making the favors—little bags of chocolate candies tied with pretty ribbon. In an attempt to save some dollars, I decided we could cut our own circles of tulle.

Big mistake. At a time when both the bride and I had more to do than we had time, we had to push ourselves even more. Yes, believe it or not, the tulle circle-cutting fairies did not show up at nighttime to cut the circles for us.

My decision to cut costs ended up costing us in other ways—in time, in stress, and in weariness. The dollars saved were definitely not worth it.

Learn from my mistake, dear MOB. Carefully weigh all the costs before making more work for yourself or the bride. Sometimes the best thing you can do is give yourself the gift of easy.

*You might also like to read A Simple Wedding Expense TipMothers of the Bride Need Prayer, and Gather Photos Early for Wedding Day Slide Show.

*For info about my book Mother of the Bride check out my Books/My Work page.

*The next issue of Life Notes, my quarterly inspirational newsletter with a giveaway in every regularly scheduled issue, will come out in early November. Sign-up is FREE. *Temporary problem with Life Notes sign-up. To sign up, just contact me.

*Flickr photo by FutUnBeidlCreative Commons License

Wedding Photo Speaks Volumes: The Minister’s Bible

Mother of the Bride, some of the simplest shots your photographer captures on wedding day can speak volumes. No elaborate background set-up, no gathering of the bridal party or family members, just some ideas in mind and a photographer’s great eye.

The minister with his Bible is one such photo that conveys deep meaning. I love the shot above that focuses on the Bible and not on the minister himself. It speaks of the importance of the day and the holiness of the ceremony. It says God is here. It says this marriage is founded on the instruction and wisdom of God. Yes, this simple shot speaks volumes.

So, MOB, when you’re compiling a list of shots for the photographer to take on wedding day, be sure to include the minister-with-his-Bible idea along with other artsy-type shots you might have in mind. Just tell the photographer some general ideas you’d like included, and he’ll be ready to work his magic. Bet you’ll be pleased!

*You might also like to read Wedding Day Tip: A List for the Photographer and Wedding Photography Tip: Candid Shots of the Guests.

*For info about my book Mother of the Bride check out my Books/My Work page.

*The new issue of Life Notes, my quarterly inspirational newsletter, comes out tomorrow. Sign up is FREE! *Temporary problem with Life Notes sign-up. To sign up, just contact me.

*Photo by Chris Humphrey

Wedding Planning Help During July Blogging Break

Mother of the Bride, I’m taking a blogging break during July but never fear—I will not leave you without some help. Below you’ll find a variety of ideas and links to help you with you and your sweet girl’s wedding planning while I allow myself a little blogging vacation.

So here you go—hope you find tons of ideas that will really help!

Here are five resources from yours truly:

  1. Read my book Mother of the Bride: Refreshment and Wisdom for the Mother of the Bride. Allow me to be your friend for the journey!
  2. Look through the list of Favorite Posts on the sidebar and click the links to the ones that spark your interest. (If you’re on a mobile device, scroll to the bottom of the screen and click View Full Site to find the sidebar items.)
  3. Use the drop-down feature in the Archives to spot some posts that might be especially helpful to you at this stage in your Mother of the Bride journey. You’ll find the Archives on the sidebar on my home page so use the directions above to find it if you’re on a mobile device.
  4. Check out my Pinterest pageAmong other things, it features eighteen wedding-related boards!
  5. Glance through the roundup posts I’ve written. They are listed below. Roundups can be very helpful:

Wedding Photography: Bridal Portrait Roundup

Roundup: Popular Mother of the Bride Blog Posts

Bridal Bouquet Roundup

Wedding Cake Roundup

Wedding Registry Roundup

Wedding Photo Ideas Roundup That Star the Groom

Finally, if your daughter is in the beginning stages of gathering ideas and investigating her options, try Martha Stewart Weddings, Bridal Guide, and Brides.  And if she wants a rustic wedding, check out Rustic Wedding Chic.

Hope this helps you and your sweet bride-to-be daughter, MOB!

*For info about my book Mother of the Bride and also my Wedding Inspiration cards, check out my Books/My Work page.

*The next issue of Life Notes, my quarterly inspirational newsletter with a giveaway in every regularly scheduled issue, comes out in early August. Sign-up is free and to the right! Temporary problem with Life Notes sign-up. To sign up, just contact me.

*Flickr photo by smcgeeCreative Commons License

Mother of the Groom: Part of the Team

Mother of the Bride, have you reached out yet to help the mother of the groom feel included in the wedding preparations? Remember, the wedding you’re helping your daughter plan is a very big deal to the mother of your little girl’s beloved too. This is a major milestone and celebration in the life of their family as well.

True, unless the groom’s family is helping in a significant way financially and thus in charge of certain aspects of the wedding, you and your daughter will take care of most of the wedding preparations. However, you can enlist the MOG’s help for certain things.

Here are a few ideas to help make the Mother of the Groom feel like she’s part of the team:

1) Ask her to be in charge of providing the card box/container to use on wedding day for any cards guests may bring.
2) Invite her to help decorate the church and/or reception venue the day before the wedding.
3) Ask if she can provide some needed items such as cake knife and server set (since one will be needed for the groom’s cake as well) or a champagne bucket.
4) If a problem arises with some aspect of the wedding prep, is there some way she might be able to help? If so, call on her.
5) Is there an errand she can run? For example, if you need to find multiple items of a certain component of the centerpieces, can she check to see if more of the items you need are available at the store in her location?

MOB, these are just a few possibilities for including the MOG. I’m sure you’ll be able to think of others. The important thing is to reach out, to make her feel included. The joy will be that much greater during wedding weekend if you’ve built a bond ahead of time. Don’t miss out on this special blessing!

*You might also like to read Kicking Off the In-Law Relationship.

*For info about my book Mother of the Bride check out my Books/My Work page.

*The next issue of Life Notes, my quarterly inspirational newsletter with a giveaway in every regularly scheduled issue, will come out in early August. Sign-up is FREE. *Temporary problem with Life Notes sign-up. To sign up, just contact me.

*Flickr photo by Or HiltchCreative Commons License

Guest Lucille Williams: New Book with Important Lesson for Kids—and Adults Too!

When I was in elementary school I can remember feeling extreme panic when the teacher asked the class to read out loud. We would start at one end of the classroom and one by one we’d be asked to read. As the kids each read their portion and it got closer to me, panic would set in. I had trouble reading as a kid and I’d stop at “small” words when I saw “big” words coming up so the kids didn’t know I didn’t know the “big” word, and during the pause try and sound out the “big” word in my head. All this to avoid being laughed at or seen as stupid. It usually didn’t work and the kids would often laugh at me when I didn’t know various words. It was quite shaming as a kid and I had such anxiety and fear surrounding reading. And school in general.

I always felt different than other kids. 

School overall was very difficult for me. As an adult I discovered I had ADHD. No wonder I had so much trouble with reading and schoolwork and paying attention in class. I suffered greatly as a kid feeling like I didn’t measure up to the other kids. Getting help from others and feeling like I lacked the skills other kids had plagued me throughout my childhood.

I felt like I wasn’t good enough and longed to be like the other kids. 

It wasn’t until I became an adult that I realized I had great gifting too. I even became a writer–which I never thought was possible. I wish someone had taught me to focus on my strengths instead of my weaknesses.

Children can learn this early: We all do not have the same gifting, and we all are special in our own way.

“For You created my innermost parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, because I am awesomely and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.” Psalm 139:13-14 NASB

As a grandma I’ve watched my sweet grandkids struggle with not being able to master things fast and comparing themselves to others. Instead of comparing our weaknesses to other people’s strengths, we can focus on celebrating our differences and embracing our God-given talents.

This is what Turtle Finds His Talent: Discovering How God Made You Special is all about: Teaching children to focus on their own abilities and specialness and God-given talents. This is a good lesson for us adults too. I have learned to adjust to functioning with ADHD and have learned to thrive in it. There are good aspects to every challenge.

God made each child special and unique. Cheering for and affirming differences fosters confidence and self-esteem. Talking about feelings like joy and sadness helps a child navigate and process emotions. When we read to our kids and then talk about the story we do just that.

“My frame was not hidden from You When I was made in secret, And skillfully formed in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my formless substance; And in Your book were written All the days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them.” Psalm 139:15-16 NASB*Do you know some children who could benefit from the message of Turtle Finds His Talent? Why not gift them with a copy! 

Lucille Williams is an author, speaker, pastor’s wife, and has ministered to couples and families for over 25 years. As the Women’s Director at Palmcroft Church in Phoenix, AZ she dedicates her time to ministry and writing and providing resources on her blog at LuSays.com. She’s the author of From Me to We: A Premarital Guide for the Bride- and Groom-to-Be, The Intimacy You Crave: Straight Talk About Sex and Pancakes, The Impossible Kid: Parenting a Strong-Willed Child with Love and Grace, and Turtle Finds His Talent: A Slide-and-Find Book: Discovering How God Made You Special.   

*The current issue of Life Notes, my quarterly inspirational newsletter with a giveaway in every regularly scheduled issue, came out earlier this month. It’s not too late to receive it. Sign-up is FREE. *Temporary problem with Life Notes sign-up. To sign up, just contact me.

*For info about my book Mother of the Bride and also my Wedding Inspiration cards, check out my Books/My Work page.

*Book photos compliments of Zonderkidz