You Are Appreciated, Mother of the Bride!

Mother of the Bride, do you have moments when you feel unappreciated for all your wedding-planning efforts? Don’t worry. You’re not alone. Every mother of the bride feels that way at one time or another. After all, feeling unappreciated happens in most stages of mothering. Why should we expect anything different during the wedding-planning stage?

Take heart, though. The bride and groom will be forever thankful for everything you’re doing to give them a joyful wedding day. As their dream-come-true day unfolds—or at some point following the festivities when they have time to reflect back on their day—they’ll realize how much effort you expended on their behalf. And they’ll be truly grateful.

In addition, MOB, you yourself will feel such gratitude and personal satisfaction on the big day for the blessing of being able to give your daughter and new son-in-law a beautiful start to their lives together. Just being able to bless them in such an important way will be blessing enough for you for a very long time.

So take my word for it, MOB—you are appreciated. When the crazy days and pressures of wedding planning in the midst of the demands of regular life are behind you all, you’ll find the bride and groom looking at you through eyes of love and gratitude. And that will make it worth it all!

*You might also like to read “Mother of the Bride – Needed and Loved”, Spirit and Soul Refreshment for the Mother of the Bride, and Wisdom and Encouragement for the Mother of the Bride.

*For info about my book Mother of the Bride check out my Books/My Work page.

*The next issue of Life Notes, my quarterly inspirational newsletter, comes out in early February. One lucky subscriber (new or current) will receive a $15 gift card to Starbucks and a signed copy of my book to use personally, give as a gift, or donate to a library. Sign-up is free and to the right! (If you’re on a mobile device, scroll to the bottom of the screen and click View Full Site to find it.)

*Photo by Chris Humphrey

Guest List Help: Don’t Forget the Father of the Bride

Mother of the Bride, when you’re thinking of people to include on your portion of the guest list for your daughter’s upcoming wedding, don’t forget to ask for help—from the father of the bride. That’s right, here is one of the tasks where you need to get his input and find out his desires.

Don’t assume that you know who the FOB would like to invite to the wedding. You might be surprised by just exactly who he wants—or doesn’t want—to invite to join you for the festivities. He may want to invite his co-workers but not his boss, or he might like to include his golfing buddies but not the fellow members of the civic group committee he’s serving on.

Also be sure to get his input on the total number of guests to invite. Unless the bride and groom are paying for their own wedding, you need to be on the same page with the FOB on this important decision since it will impact the cost of the wedding. If you avoid hard feelings over unexpected financial stress, everyone will be happier when wedding day arrives.

MOB, maybe you could even make the guest list conversation fun and make a date out of it. Go for coffee or dessert and take your pad of paper along. Brainstorm names with the father of the bride and enjoy something yummy while you’re doing it. Another win-win on the wedding planning front!

*You might also like to read Budget Agreement with the Father of the BrideWedding Day Emotion: Father-Daughter Dance Songs, and Wedding Day: Grab FOB for Impromptu Portrait

*For info about my book Mother of the Bride and also my Wedding Inspiration cards, check out my Books/My Work page.

*The new issue of Life Notes, my quarterly inspirational newsletter with a giveaway in every regularly scheduled issue, came out early this month. It’s not too late to receive it. Sign-up is free and to the right! (If you’re on a mobile device, scroll to the bottom of the screen and click View Full Site to find it.)

*I hope this slightly revised encore post from Mar. 2014 blessed you today!

*Flickr photo by Corey Ann, Creative Commons License

5 Things Every Bride-To-Be Needs to Hear from Her Mother

*I won’t be posting next week during Thanksgiving but will be back on Nov. 27. Have a happy Thanksgiving!

Mother of the Bride, as your daughter prepares to marry, she’s navigating a season like no other—as are you.

Not only are you both planning the biggest events you’ve probably ever planned, but you are both experiencing the shifting sands of changing family dynamics. She is shifting her primary loyalty to her husband-to-be and also developing relationships with his family while you are preparing for the final letting go as well as welcoming another family member into your family’s fold.

Since like any good mother, you’ll want to make her wedding planning experience and her family transition as easy as possible, here are 5 things she needs to hear from you right now. I pray that they will help both of you navigate the emotional mother-daughter waters you find yourselves in. May your season of planning and change go as smoothly as possible—and even hold unexpected blessings.

5 Things Your Bride-to-Be Daughter Needs to Hear from You

  1. This is your wedding, not mine, and you and your groom’s desires are the ones that matter the most. It’s okay, MOB, to share some of your most deeply held desires concerning the wedding—after all, it will be a highlight of your life and her dad’s life as well—but when it comes down to final decisions, those should reflect the couple’s desires.
  2. We welcome the love of your life into our family with open arms and will love him like a son. This will be a process of course as you may need time, MOB, to get to know him better, but just hearing your assurances of your welcoming love for him will mean the world to her.
  3. Even though you’re starting a new family, you’ll always be my dearly loved daughter who can count on me in good times and bad. At this critical time of family transition, MOB, your sweet girl needs to know that you’ll always love her and you’ll always be there for her. And as you assure her of your unchanging love, this will give her an opportunity as well to reassure you of your place in her heart.
  4. I’m sorry—I didn’t handle that very well. There may be (will be!) times during the wedding planning process, MOB, that you will say or do something that you wish you hadn’t. Tensions can run high at times and in those moments it’s so easy to act or speak in haste. When you’ve done something that hurts feelings or offends, apologize as quickly as possible. Keeping loving and peaceful relationships is the way to go.
  5. How can I help you? Whether with wedding details, relationship issues with any of her friends and family, or other day-to-day life stresses that can be compounded by the pressures she’s feeling as wedding day approaches, your girl needs you, MOB. Find out how you can best help her with whatever she’s going through. She will be forever grateful.

Good luck, MOB, as you and your precious daughter navigate the days ahead. May these pointers help along the way!

*You might also like to read Mother of the Bride’s Wedding Day Advice for the BridePre-Ceremony Wedding Day Prayer Idea: The Mother of the Bride Prays for the BrideA Prayer for the Newlyweds, and A Message for the Newlyweds.

*For info about my book Mother of the Bride and also my Wedding Inspiration cards, check out my Books/My Work page.

*The new issue of Life Notes, my quarterly inspirational newsletter with a giveaway in every regularly scheduled issue, came out Nov. 1st. It’s not too late to receive it. Sign-up is free and to the right! (If you’re on a mobile device, scroll to the bottom of the screen and click View Full Site to find it.)

*Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

Wedding Budget Tip: Prioritize and Trim

Mother of the Bride, it’s easy to get overwhelmed when thinking of all the expenses coming at you while planning a wedding. The whole process can start to feel like a runaway train you can’t seem to slow down. Soon you can find yourself engulfed in emotions like panic and dread instead of excitement and joy.

Here’s a wedding budget tip that can help: Prioritize and then trim. Talk with the bride and groom and have them decide which elements of the wedding are most important to them and  which elements are the least important. And then plan your spending from there.

Devote the bulk of your budget to the things the couple cares the most about and plan for minimal amounts to be spent on the others, possibly even forgoing some things altogether. If your daughter and her beloved want an amazing venue, a live band, and top notch photography, maybe they would be willing to have an hors d’oeuvres buffet rather than a sit-down dinner and scale back on flowers and favors. They might even decide they don’t need ceremony programs at all. You get the idea.

MOB, take the pressure off a bit—prioritize and trim. The results will be unique to your own situation and will help put the brakes on that runaway train, giving wings to joy instead. Why not give it a try?

*You might also like to read Budget Agreement with the Father of the BrideA Simple Wedding Expense Tip, Wedding Savings Tip: Borrow, Bridal Primping on a Budget, and Christmas Gifts for the Bride.

*For info about my book Mother of the Bride check out my Books/My Work page.

*The next issue of Life Notes, my quarterly inspirational newsletter, comes out this week. One lucky subscriber (new or current) will receive a $15 gift card to Starbucks and a signed copy of my book to use personally, give as a gift, or donate to a library. Sign-up is free and to the right! (If you’re on a mobile device, scroll to the bottom of the screen and click View Full Site to find it.) p.s. It is too late to get in on this issue’s giveaway, but if you subscribe, you will be included in all future Life Notes giveaways.

*Flickr photo by cafecredit, Creative Commons License

7 Sentence-Prayers Inviting God’s Power—For Parenting and Grandparenting

If you’re looking for help in your parenting or grandparenting role, you’ve come to the right place today. Last month I started a new blog series—posts on the first Tuesday of each month that will feature sentence prayers inviting God’s power into a variety of important areas of our lives. 

Today we’ll focus on parenting and grandparenting. Chances are a majority of us fall into one or both of those categories. Both roles are awesome privileges and offer untold blessings, but they often hold multiple challenges as well.

The most important thing we can do as we fulfill these important roles is to call on God and invite his power into all of our parenting and grandparenting efforts. Here are 7 sentence prayers that can help you do just that. May they bless you—and your children and grandchildren—today!

7 Sentence-Prayers Inviting God’s Power—For Parenting and Grandparenting

  1. Father, give me the wisdom, the selflessness, and the discipline to be as present as possible in the lives of my kids and grandkids, giving them my undivided attention at the moments they need it. (Romans 12:10)
  2. Lord, since battles are fought and won in prayer, keep me ever on my knees for the spiritual, emotional, and physical needs of my children and grandchildren. (James 5:16)
  3. Father, help me to faithfully teach my children and grandchildren to love and obey you and your Word so their lives will be built on the solid, unshakable Rock that is you. (Deuteronomy 11:18-20, Matthew 7:24-25)
  4. Lord, help me to be the person you want me to be, modeling for my children and grandchildren a way to live that glorifies you and loves others. (1 Corinthians 11:1)
  5. Father, when problems with my kids and grandkids come, remind me to immediately turn to you for wisdom and direction and to also seek out wise counsel to find courses of action that have helped others. (Psalm 121:1-2; Proverbs 3:5-6; Proverbs 13:10)
  6. Lord, help me be a great encourager for my children and grandchildren, helping them reach for their dreams and fulfill God’s plan for their lives. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
  7. Father, at each stage of letting go, give me wisdom and strength to do it with grace, trusting my precious kids and grandkids to your loving and able care. (Psalm 55:22, Philippians 4:6-7, Psalm 62:8)

May we always look to the Lord as we love and guide the children he has placed in your lives!

“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.” Psalm 127:3-5

*Which of these prayers do you most need to pray right now?

*The next issue of Life Notes, my quarterly inspirational newsletter, comes out in early November. One lucky subscriber (new or current) will receive a $15 gift card to Starbucks and a signed copy of my book to use personally, give as a gift, or donate to a library. Sign-up is free and to the right! (If you’re on a mobile device, scroll to the bottom of the screen and click View Full Site to find it.)

*For info about my book Mother of the Bride check out my Books/My Work page.

*Flickr photo by will_i_be, Creative Commons License