5 Things Every Bride-To-Be Needs to Hear from Her Mother

*I won’t be posting next week during Thanksgiving but will be back on Nov. 27. Have a happy Thanksgiving!

Mother of the Bride, as your daughter prepares to marry, she’s navigating a season like no other—as are you.

Not only are you both planning the biggest events you’ve probably ever planned, but you are both experiencing the shifting sands of changing family dynamics. She is shifting her primary loyalty to her husband-to-be and also developing relationships with his family while you are preparing for the final letting go as well as welcoming another family member into your family’s fold.

Since like any good mother, you’ll want to make her wedding planning experience and her family transition as easy as possible, here are 5 things she needs to hear from you right now. I pray that they will help both of you navigate the emotional mother-daughter waters you find yourselves in. May your season of planning and change go as smoothly as possible—and even hold unexpected blessings.

5 Things Your Bride-to-Be Daughter Needs to Hear from You

  1. This is your wedding, not mine, and you and your groom’s desires are the ones that matter the most. It’s okay, MOB, to share some of your most deeply held desires concerning the wedding—after all, it will be a highlight of your life and her dad’s life as well—but when it comes down to final decisions, those should reflect the couple’s desires.
  2. We welcome the love of your life into our family with open arms and will love him like a son. This will be a process of course as you may need time, MOB, to get to know him better, but just hearing your assurances of your welcoming love for him will mean the world to her.
  3. Even though you’re starting a new family, you’ll always be my dearly loved daughter who can count on me in good times and bad. At this critical time of family transition, MOB, your sweet girl needs to know that you’ll always love her and you’ll always be there for her. And as you assure her of your unchanging love, this will give her an opportunity as well to reassure you of your place in her heart.
  4. I’m sorry—I didn’t handle that very well. There may be (will be!) times during the wedding planning process, MOB, that you will say or do something that you wish you hadn’t. Tensions can run high at times and in those moments it’s so easy to act or speak in haste. When you’ve done something that hurts feelings or offends, apologize as quickly as possible. Keeping loving and peaceful relationships is the way to go.
  5. How can I help you? Whether with wedding details, relationship issues with any of her friends and family, or other day-to-day life stresses that can be compounded by the pressures she’s feeling as wedding day approaches, your girl needs you, MOB. Find out how you can best help her with whatever she’s going through. She will be forever grateful.

Good luck, MOB, as you and your precious daughter navigate the days ahead. May these pointers help along the way!

*You might also like to read Mother of the Bride’s Wedding Day Advice for the BridePre-Ceremony Wedding Day Prayer Idea: The Mother of the Bride Prays for the BrideA Prayer for the Newlyweds, and A Message for the Newlyweds.

*For info about my book Mother of the Bride and also my Wedding Inspiration cards, check out my Books/My Work page.

*The new issue of Life Notes, my quarterly inspirational newsletter with a giveaway in every regularly scheduled issue, came out Nov. 1st. It’s not too late to receive it. Sign-up is free and to the right! (If you’re on a mobile device, scroll to the bottom of the screen and click View Full Site to find it.)

*Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

Preparation for Decorating Wedding Reception Venue

Mother of the Bride, one vital step in your wedding decor preparation is to visit the reception venue site. You probably visited it early-on with your daughter while selecting a venue, but now you need to go back and carefully survey everything with an eye for decorating.

Here are some things to take to the reception venue when you visit:

*The bride. This is her party, and you definitely need her input. Your job is to help bring her vision to fruition. As you visit the site with your daughter, you’ll both have ideas and can decide together which ideas to implement. Also, two sets of eyes are always better than one in spotting potential problem areas and making sure those are addressed before you arrive to decorate.

*Questions for the venue’s event coordinator. When you make your appointment to visit, make sure the event coordinator will be there so you can ask questions, gain his or her insight, and get advice based on what they’ve seen work well there before. Take time to compile a list of questions before you go so you’re not trying to think off the top of your head. (Lists like this are included in my book Mother of the Bride.) If you see any problems or things you’d like fixed or done differently than their norm, speak up and ask. They will generally try to accommodate if possible.

*Your MOB folder or notebook/journal. As you make your way through wedding planning, you’ll keep a folder and/or notebook of all the info and plans you’re accumulating. You may need some of that info as you talk with the venue’s event coordinator or as you brainstorm decorating ideas with your daughter. Be sure to take this all-important MOB folder/notebook with you. It will also give you a place to make notes during your appointment.

*Camera. Pictures of the site will be invaluable after the appointment since more ideas will come to you and your daughter later on. Pictures of the site will help you carry them out. Also be sure to capture a shot of the two of you during this stop on your wedding-planning journey. You’ll be so glad you documented this once-in-a-lifetime journey together.

*Tape measure. This is the time to record vital statistics like how long banisters or mantles are or how many feet of lights you’ll need. Measure everywhere, even if you’re not sure you’ll decorate a certain area. For example, if you ultimately decide to string lights around the windows, you’ll have the measurements you need.

So MOB, head out for your venue appointment armed with these items. You’ll not only have a successful planning day, but you’ll have fun with your daughter as well. Another win-win on the wedding front!

*You might also like to read Include Venue Signs in the Wedding Photos , Wedding Planning Tip: Ask for Price Breaks, and Get It In Writing.

*The next issue of Life Notes, my quarterly inspirational newsletter, comes out in early November. One lucky subscriber (new or current) will receive a $15 gift card to Starbucks and a signed copy of my book to use personally, give as a gift, or donate to a library. Sign-up is free and to the right! (If you’re on a mobile device, scroll to the bottom of the screen and click View Full Site to find it.)

*For info about my book Mother of the Bride check out my Books/My Work page.

*Flickr photo by J. Aaron DelgadoCreative Commons License

Wedding Cake Idea for Musicians

Mother of the Bride, does your sweet couple also happen to be a musical couple? If so, here’s a wedding cake idea to share with them pronto. It’s almost certain to strike a chord with them. (Sorry, I couldn’t resist the musical pun. Hee hee!) 

The staff of music/sheet music look is a perfect way for musicians—or anyone for that matter—to incorporate their love for music into their wedding celebration. The example above makes quite an elegant look and of course can be accented with the colors your daughter chose for their wedding.

The choice of sheet music can add a personal touch and special meaning as well. The bride and groom might want to feature their special song from their dating and engagement days. Or they could make it the same as their “first dance” song as man and wife. The cake designer of the cake pictured above noted that the sheet music on this cake was a song composed by the groom for the bride. Whatever your happy couple chooses, MOB, it can be a sweet reflection of them.

So what do you think, MOB—an idea worth sharing with your daughter and her beloved? Hope it proves to be the perfect suggestion for some very special couples out there!

*You might also like to read Wedding Cake Roundup

*For info about my book Mother of the Bride check out my Books/My Work page.

*The next issue of Life Notes, my quarterly inspirational newsletter, comes out in early November. One lucky subscriber (new or current) will receive a $15 gift card to Starbucks and a signed copy of my book to use personally, give as a gift, or donate to a library. Sign-up is free and to the right! (If you’re on a mobile device, scroll to the bottom of the screen and click View Full Site to find it.)

*Flickr photo by Graceful Cake Creations, Creative Commons License

Fun Gift Idea From Bride to Groom: Snazzy Socks!

Mother of the Bride, here’s a winning idea to pass along to your soon-to-be-married daughter: Gift the groom with a snazzy pair of socks to wear on wedding day. What fun, right?!

I’m sure wearing a tux for hours on end doesn’t sound that desirable to your daughter’s intended. If she can give him some fun socks to jazz up his wedding attire, he will feel touched by her thoughtfulness and also excited at the prospect of flaunting them at some point during the festivities.

If your daughter likes this idea, she could go several different ways in finding just the right pair of socks for her love. She might try to find a pair that matches or coordinates with the colors of the wedding, or she could try to find something to match the groom’s personality or interests. Or she could go with a total surprise—something no one would ever guess.

Yes, MOB, a fun pair of socks can definitely put a smile on the groom’s face—especially if they’re a gift from his dream girl. Let the sweetness of fun gift-giving begin!

*You might also like to read A Fun Gift from the Bride to Her Maids: Nail Polish!, Ten Thousand Villages Gifts for BridesmaidsChristmas Gifts for the Bride, Special Bridesmaids Gifts from Along Came A Box, and Bride and Groom Who Have It All: Suggest Gift to Charity.

*For info about my book Mother of the Bride and also my Wedding Inspiration cards, check out my Books/My Work page.

*The next issue of Life Notes, my quarterly inspirational newsletter with a giveaway in every regularly scheduled issue, will come out in early November. Sign-up is FREE and to the right! (If you’re on a mobile device, scroll to the bottom of the screen and click View Full Site to find it.)

*Hope you enjoyed this slightly revised post from Feb. 2014!

*Flickr photo by cariberry, Creative Commons License

Wedding Photography: Bridal Portrait Roundup

Mother of the Bride, if your daughter’s bridal portrait session is coming up soon, this roundup post of ideas should be helpful to you both. It’s always a good idea to have some photo ideas to share with your photographer, particularly if there are certain shots your daughter really wants.

As you and your daughter look through the options I’ve pulled together for you today, I hope you’ll find some that resonate with you. There are lots of other ideas out there as well so be sure to check other sources (like my Wedding Photography Ideas Pinterest board as well.)

Now for the roundup—here are the links to the bridal portraits I’ve featured thus far:

Bridal Portrait Shot: Watching for the Groom 

Beautiful Bride + Fancy Sofa = Perfect Bridal Portrait 

Bridal Portrait From a Spectator Angle 

Bridal Portrait Idea: A Stairway Shot

Bridal Portrait Idea: A Shot with Mom 

Bridal Portrait Idea: Windows Plus Great Light 

Bridal Portraits: Include Some Artsy Shots 

Bridal Portrait: Bride Seated with Bouquet on Train 

Bridal Portrait Idea: A Mirror Shot 

Bridal Portrait Idea: Fun With Sunglasses! 

Hope these help, MOB!

*You might also like to read Roundup: Popular Mother of the Bride Blog PostsBridal Bouquet RoundupWedding Cake RoundupWedding Registry Roundup, and Wedding Photo Ideas Roundup That Star the Groom.

*For info about my book Mother of the Bride and also my Wedding Inspiration cards, check out my Books/My Work page.

*The next issue of Life Notes, my quarterly inspirational newsletter with a giveaway in every regularly scheduled issue, will come out in early November. Sign-up is FREE and to the right! (If you’re on a mobile device, scroll to the bottom of the screen and click View Full Site to find it.)

*Photo by Stephtphotography